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When my first book came out, my partner presented me with a really special gift: a scrapbook, filled with press clippings, reviews, photos from the book launch events, etc. It was, and is, a prized memento of a time in my life of which I’m proud. I wrote a memoir that the editor of The Help edited, Penguin published, a few complete strangers actually bought, and Sony optioned as a TV series. And I’m close [...]

I am proud to say that I have never personally mooned anyone from the altar of the Sistine Chapel. Nor have I ever hurled onto a crucifix. I have never felt moved to get drunk and mack out in the back pew of St. Paul’s Cathedral. Or encouraged a stripper to “work that pole” in the Vatican. I have always striven to show the world’s religious monuments and icons (even the heretical ones) a measure [...]

I recently saw a show where a mother forgave the drunk driver who killed her daughter. And as if that weren’t hard ENOUGH to imagine, forgiveness was only the tip of this enlightened iceberg. She has this guy over for Sunday dinners. They exchange gifts at Christmas (nothing of the Jack Daniels variety, one presumes). She calls him to gossip about the neighbors. “He’s as special to me as if he were my own son,” [...]

As someone in my obscenely late early 30’s, one of the life truths I’ve come to know is that, all too often, people aren’t the façade they present to the world. Occasionally, that’s a good thing. From a very macho Italian guy from the Bronx, who I worked with until recently: “I used to man the men’s room at a strip club from noon to 4. Couldn’t start earlier, ‘cause I took ballet classes in [...]

I went to a conference in Dallas last week, and as I was driving to my hotel, I passed a billboard for the convention center, which was breathlessly promoting the upcoming GUN AND KNIFE SHOW. This couldn't have made me prouder, of course, since I'm all for killing things for no better reason than the thrill of it, or for the feeling of complete and utter control over the life of another living being. That's [...]

A friend of mine at work just announced that he is leaving his job at the TV network we work for and moving with his partner to Palm Springs. Who DOES that at our age? Who just quits their job and moves to a retirement community like Palm Springs? It’s like a driven, fortyish New York Jew moving to Boca. Is he also planning to start driving a ’72 land yacht and eating dinner at [...]

My mother passed away last Saturday, which is the kind of thing that doesn't really lend itself to amusing blog posts. But if you've read any of my writings about her, you might know that she's given me a lot of material to work with. And since we elected not to have a public ceremony, below is the eulogy I would have given had I had the opportunity. _______________ For those who know, I wrote [...]

Either I’m a giant Scrooge, or this is a giant racket. Can someone please explain to me why, because somebody chooses to get married, or have a kid – two undertakings that are, with a few notable exceptions, elective activities - I am required by law to shower them with gifts? Where is it written that I am compelled to reward people for managing to turn 13, or for getting through high school with that [...]